3-month pump checkup.

Remember back in my second post EVER where I ranted and raved about how wonderful the omnipod is? Well, I wish I could take it back...here's why...

First things first...

I really hate going to the doctor. Well, that's not entirely true -- I love going to the dentist (weird, I know) and even though I hate having my eyes checked out, I love my eye doctor. So really, I just hate these nerve-wracking diabetes checkups. I think the reason why I hate (nay, DREAD) them is because I have almost always dealt with people who are NOT diabetics and therefore don't have ANY idea what it's like to HAVE diabetes.

For example, let's talk low blood sugars (or, blood gulcoses).

For one thing, it's hard to describe how they feel, and, more than that, it's different for every diabetic out there. I guess for me, it's kind of like being really, really drunk. I can get shaky, kind of dizzy, sweaty, giggly, klutzy, or any combination of these (like I said, really really drunk). And, sometimes, I just feel OFF.

But...the biggest symptom, one that hits me almost every time?

Uncontrollable munchies (see, I told you it was like being drunk!) When you have a low blood glucose, you have too much insulin in your body. Insulin makes you hungry. I would say (in my case -- like I said, it's different for everyone) about 90% of these low blood sugars occur in the middle of the night around 2am. So, I'm laying there peacefully sleeping, and, all of the sudden, I'm awoken from my deep slumber. I stick a blind hand out towards my night stand, usually knocking over my glasses, water bottle, and whatever book I'm currently reading in the process. Once I find my phone, I note the time, and it is about this time that I realize that I am having a low blood sugar. I turn on my lamp and check my blood glucose -- 48. Pretty low. I stumble up the stairs and by the time I hit the last step, I am FLIPPIN' HUNGRY. Seriously starvin' Marvin, I tell ya. So I eat everything I see...it can be anything. A peanut butter sandwich, a big bowl of Cheerios, some chocolate chips (my mom just loves when I do that -- she always says she knows when my blood sugar was low in the middle of the night because I leave a trail of chocolate chips like Hansel and Gretel), crackers, pretzels, fruit snacks, a couple granola bars, an ice cream sandwich. You know, whatever. Lots of carb-heavy stuff. So, I eat. And eat. And eat. And eat. Which totally blows any healthy eating or working out I've done during the day. Finally, after I have eaten enough to stop the shaking, I fall into a food-induced coma.

I wake up 4 hours later, and guess what?! My blood glucose is 372! No shocker there. And I KNOW it's coming. And I don't care because at the time, I just wanted the yucky feeling to stop. I don't need some doctor that has never walked a mile in a diabetic's shoes (or even 10 feet) to lecture me about being patient and waiting 15 minutes after having just the peanut butter sandwich to recheck my blood sugar. Honestly, I don't have time for that, especially when I feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest while I'm laying around, not getting any sleep, waiting for my blood sugar to return to a normal level. I have a job that I have to get up at 6:30 for every day, and I need my sleep (for my sake and for everyone else that has to see me that day).

Low blood sugars during the middle of the day are almost always a different story, because I can feel them coming on (unlike in the middle of the night when it's like BAM!) so I have more control and don't overeat. Honestly, when I am woken up like that, I'm already half delirious because my sleep has been interrupted.

So. Back to the appointment.

I'll admit, I went into it with a bad attitude. For starters, I wasn't able to see my regular doctor (that I've been seeing for years now) because my original appointment had landed on a blizzard day, and she wanted me to see someone before my birthday. She will stop seeing me after I turn 21 (15 more days, whoop whoop!) because she's in Peds. This is the same doctor who has seen me at my all-time-diabetic low (A1C's of 10+), my parents' separation, high school and college, watched me succeed (having blood glucoses averaging 130).

More than not being able to see my regular doctor, however...it has been 80 days with the pump, and it still hasn't won me over. When it works, it's awesome! And when it doesn't work, well...it's really, really bad. At least before when I was doing injections, I KNEW I was getting insulin in me. Now the few times it has leaked or occluded or had an error of any sort, I don't necessarily know how much of what I ate was covered for. I feel like I have to think about my diabetes waaaaay more now than even when I first had to learn the ins and outs of the disease 11 years ago. I feel limited in a way I've never felt before. I have to sleep in a certain position depending on where my pod is. Sometimes, it's uncomfortable to wear my seat belt, or, when I'm out doing chores lifting bales and or water buckets, I get kind of a sharp pinch from the pod. At the Bulldog-Beaver game over my brother's hockey districts in Bemidji, I was playing that silly chuck-a-puck game in between periods. Well, evidently, I chucked my puck too hard, and the pod I was wearing on my arm FELL OFF. Really? So, this got me thinking about all the things I WON'T be able to do BECAUSE of the omnipod. Will I be able to go tubing this summer? Be a dancing fool? Trip on the ice with hurting nothing more than my pride (hey, it could still happen -- it's pretty chilly out there!) What if I want to go cliff diving one day? Or...am I going to have to hold back -- something I have NEVER had to do -- from doing whatever the **** I want because of this great, new-and-improved insulin technology? Because I will go back to the pens in a heart beat if that's how it's going to be.

Basically, I just want someone to convince me it's going to get better, and I haven't been convinced of that yet. And, apparently, it's not simple to go back to the pens. There's a long process with insurance companies and blah, blah, blah. I stopped listening after I heard the words "insurance companies." I have always been able to tell myself, "It could be so much worse; I could have cancer, I could have MS, I could have Alzheimer's, I could be blind, wheel-chair bound, deaf..." I have never HATED my diabetes. I've always accepted it, never ignored it, ever since the day I was diagnosed. It has been extremely hard to stay positive in the last few months, and the pod is to blame.

I'd like to mention, however, that the woman I did see was a real sweetheart, and she did seem genuinely sympathetic towards me. My A1C was down from last time (8.9 to an 8.3); she liked my numbers from the last 2 weeks and my averages were nothing to sneeze at (7-day 161, 14-day 173, 30-day 181).

Woof. Sorry this wasn't the most cheerful post. On the bright side, it was a Mom-Kalli day, and we had a lot of fun together!

Love,

Kalli

eat | juicy lucy

My sister, Bailey, and I had pigs growing up on the farm. Of course, when you're 3- and 5-years-old, they're considered pets, not groceries. Beav wasn't around the day the pigs left and dad explained to me that when they came back, they'd be ham and bacon in our freezer. I accepted this graciously and didn't think anything of it until at supper one night a few weeks later. Mom and dad sat a pork chop down in front of each of us and I turned to my sweet, innocent baby sis and said, "Do you spose this is Gordy or Babe we're eating?"

To this day, she still won't eat steak, pork chops, or any meat from a 4-legged animal with a bone in it (or LOOKS like it COULD'VE had a bone in it at some point...)

She does like burgers and bacon, though! AND, beings our parents and siblings went to Disney World and left us behind, I decided to make these Jucy Lucy (also known as inside-out) burgers for her when she came home this weekend. I stuffed the patties with crumbled bacon and shredded cheese, then just prepared 'em like one would a normal burger.



YUMMAGE.

The only thing that could've made these burgers better? If they were on one of mom's homemade buns. Seriously, I need to get confident in making buns on my own STAT.

So, after supper, we went to a wedding dance in town, where I got to see these lovely people:



MINI CLASS REUNION.

And, today, we went to Grandma and Grandpa's for a few rounds of whist:

Such a good weekend with my sis -- wish I had a pic of us to include!

And, one more thing...Saturday marked the date of 21 days til my 21st! WHOOP WHOOP!

Love,

Kalli


4 out of 144 ain't bad!

I learned a lot this weekend down in Cottage Grove, MN! One thing was that I learned that I still have a deep hatred for Mall of America -- seriously, all those people? And I only go to the same places that I would shop at in Grand Forks or Fargo, anyway! No sales tax on clothes is pretty nice, though.




BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP.


But, more importantly, I learned a lot about my brother's peewee hockey team; mostly, what sets them apart from all the other teams they ran into at the state tournament. Here's a list of the info I compiled:

REGARDING THE TEAM: We have 12 kids on the team. Six 6th graders, six 7th graders. Not even enough for 3 full lines. Tryouts were not held and players were not recruited in the making of this team. Two are from Kennedy, two are from across the river in the Pembina area, and eight reside in Hallock. These boys have been playing together since they were 5 years old. Also, we don't have a backup goalie, which is completely fine, beings the one we have is absolutely fantastic and gave us a lot of victories this year. (Offense wins games, defense wins championships...)

REGARDING THE COACHING STAFF: First of all, there are only two of them. Secondly, they don't wear shirts and ties, or matching jackets. Well, that's not entirely true -- they sometimes wear their Gophers sweatshirts. Oh, and one more thing...I'm pretty sure the other coaches had a lot of experience growing up playing hockey...rather than, say, basketball (ahem, Mr. Noel Peterson).

REGARDING THE FANS: We have stood at every game we've been at this year (normally because the rinks our team played in are not heated, and it's the only way to keep yourself semi-warm). We found out this weekend most opposing fans don't do that and, also, that they don't necessarily like that we do! Also, our parents and fans can find a liquor store and Target just as fast as finding the rink the boys play at (okay, maybe I should leave this one specifically for myself...)

REGARDING THE COMMUNITY:  We have a church at home that prays for the team at every Sunday morning service when we are on the road (thank you, Grace-RR Lutheran!) I'd also like to give a shout-out to all the former Hallock residents that now live in the cities who came to the boys' games -- thank you thank you THANK YOU! Pretty cool to have so much support so far from home!

The Peewees ended up taking 4th place at the state tournament; they defeated North Metro 6-5 in overtime on Friday, lost to Johnson-Como 3-6 on Saturday, and played a close, heartbreaking game against Minneapolis Purple on Sunday, coming up short 2-3. I cried a bit on Sunday -- NOT because we lost, though. It was because somewhere around the beginning of the third period, I realized this was the last hockey weekend for the season. I (along with most of the other peewee fans, I'm sure) have such a strong sense of pride for this team, because they worked so hard to get as far as they did.

Love,

Kalli

P.S. One more thing -- some of the sisters ordered shirts, though I wish we would've gotten them for everybody (dads, moms, grandparents, etc.)

diy garden markers | happy birthday, dad!

Someone in our house turned 46 this week, and it wasn't my mother! Happy, happy birthday, pops! You're a regular Charles Ingalls, and I love you.

One of the lessons this man has taught me was that if you always have a garden, you'll never be hungry! So it only seemed appropriate when I saw these DIY garden markers on Pinterest that I make him his own set. He cut down the branches for me (I had to bribe him by telling him it was for his birthday gift) and then, with no a little help from Russell, I trimmed them up, whittled the tops down, and labeled them with a permanent marker. I wrapped them up with some burlap until they can be used this spring! I'm guessing they will have to be touched up every year with fresh markings and that the wood itself won't last forever, but I like that they're mismatched and rustic-looking! This was an easy-Sunday-afternoon project and only took me about 3 hours, tops.
 


RUSSELL "HELPING".

GARDEN MARKERS.

I am so excited for garden season...and camping...and street dances...and having a tan...and I know that after this weekend, I'm only going to get antsy-er. I love winter for two big reasons: one, Christmas. Two, hockey. This will be Gusy's last weekend of hockey for the season, and, although I'll miss it, I'm not looking for a remake of the highly unrealistic Mighty Ducks 2 (you know, the one where they go to nationals!)
Love,

Kalli

a dog named Russell + more gopher hockey

Blogspot, meet my punky pup, Russell.

The picture on the left was taken through the basement door of my house. He often just sits there and paws at the door, as if to say, "Hey, if you're up, why aren't you outside with me?!" Mom's rule: No animals in the house. My brother had a hamster once that got out of its cage and we couldn't find it anywhere. Gross, right? Pretty sure every night when I went to bed and I saw my foot move under the covers I thought it was that stupid little rodent. Eventually, when my parents replaced the dishwasher, Hampy (uhh...Hampy's remains) was discovered.

Okay, back to the cute little doggie in the window. Like I said, the picture on the left was taken through the walk-in basement door of my house. He must've heard me come downstairs to wash my face because when I came out of the bathroom, he was sitting there waiting for me. I gave him a treat and a pat and told him what a good boy he was, then I shut the door again. He started howling when I walked upstairs to sit in the living room and visit with my mom.

About 10 minutes after I had sat down on the couch, I heard pawing at our FRONT door, hence the picture on the right. He followed me up the stairs -- just a different set of stairs! What a goofball. Go lay in your straw-filled dog house, Russ.

This weekend, my best best best best best best best best best best best best friend in the whole wide world and I went to Bemidji to watch the Gophers take on the Beavers! Our seats were amazeballs...second row directly behind the Beaver goal. Here's a couple pics from our fun weekend!



Me+Haley



This pic is from the Gophs second goal of the game...see the puck in the net?! Told you our seats were SICK.

Love my Gophers :)

Oh just me and Bjugy chillaxin' on TV...

Sunday morning required a photo op with Paul & Babe...

...and breakfast at this local restaurant!

Love,

Kalli

diy | old rake revamp

On Pinterest, I saw a DIY necklace holder! Isn't it perfect? I just put a nail in the wall and there it hangs! Pretty darn simple!



Thanks for this great find, grandpa Ray!

Love,

Kalli

regions recap

It has been 52 (FIFTY TWO) years (YEARS) since our little community of Hallock has sent a hockey team to state. So, yes, my 11-year-old brother's PeeWee team taking the 1st seed at the north region tournament in Silver Bay and therefore advancing to the state tournament in Cottage Grove (which is to be held the weekend of the 15th) is kind of a big deal. And my goodness, I don't think I could be any more proud of them.





CLEARLY.

Like always, the boys had to have ONE exciting game at tournament time that leaves the fans biting their nails to the quick and the coaches popping heartattackprevention pills (or, in my dad's case, an extra-large dip of snus). Much like their second game at districts (when they beat East Grand Forks 5-3 after going into the third period winning 5-0), their second game (against Ely) at regionals was an awfully close one (5-4). After the second period, I had to go sit in the warming area to watch the rest of the game (something I NEVER do); otherwise, I probably would have embarrassed myself in front of the whole rink. When we scored that 5th goal, I yelped and jumped out of my seat, then looked at a parent from another team (ironically, East Grand Forks) and said, "Sorry, I know they're just 11 years old!"

He laughed, FYI.




VIEW FROM THE WARMING AREA.

For our last game at regionals, the PeeWees took on Bemidji Blue (the same team we had to beat to get first place at Districts) for the fourth time this year. I myself was so nervous for this game because I knew they were tired of losing to us and they were going to do absolutely everything in their power to beat our team. After we got the first goal, I got a little tear in my eye; after the second, I think I peed a little. Our boys wound up winning 5-0. I believe only 14 minutes of the whole weekend was spent in the penalty box, and the four (five if you count Ben) players out on the ice killed the power play every time.

It has been so fun watching them play all winter long, and they are heading into this tournament technically 26-0 (28-1 if you want to count the tourney in Devils Lake, where they lost to a team from Altona, MB). Special thanks to the folks at Red River and Grace for saying a little prayer for them at church on Sunday :)




WE'RE NUMBER 1!

In other, non-hockey-related news, the Duluth area scenery is lovely:





DUHLOOT.

Sister Bailey and I are planning on making the North Shore drive this summer, and I can't wait!

And also, this reminded me of Pocahontas:





COME RUN THE HIDDEN PINE TRAILS OF THE FOREST...LA LA LA

And one more thing, it's snowing here at home right now. A lot.





I LOVE YOU, MINNESOTA.

Love,

Kalli